Is Rango So Good …? (and 25 Other Questions)

This article isn’t specifically about Isla but I thought it was pretty interesting, funny and accurate, so worth a read…

Is Rango So Good a Grown Man Would Make Love to It? (and 25 Other Questions)

Just when you’d given up on 2011, along comes Rango, an animated feature by the guy who directed the Pirates of the Caribbean series (Gore Verbinski), featuring the voice of the guy who starred in them (Johnny Depp). Is this the shining beacon we’ve been waiting for? As a service, we answer every question you could possibly have about Rango.

Q: Is Rango the movie about the colorful birds?

A: No, that’s Rio.

Q: How many minutes into Rango did it take you to realize it wasn’t Rio?

A: About 15 minutes, at which point I whispered to my girlfriend, “When do the birds show up?”

Q: Is Rango one of the best movies to be released in 2011.

A: By far.

Q: You’re kidding, right? We’re only two months in.

A: The year is young, but Rango is that good—and it didn’t really have to be!

Q: Who is Rango?

A: Rango [Johnny Depp] is a pet lizard who fancies himself a thespian. We first meet Rango acting out a scene in his aquarium when a bump in the road propels him out of the backseat of a moving car and onto the Nevada highway.

Q: Do Rango’s owners come back for him?

A: It’s unclear. A very thirsty Rango (which isn’t even his real name) wanders through the desert, eventually meeting an iguana named Beans [Isla Fisher] who reluctantly brings him to her hometown—a town on the brink of ruin.

Q: Beans brings Rango to Detroit?

A: No. Beans brings Rango to the non-human town of Dirt, where there’s a severe water shortage.

Q: How does Rango get along with the town folk in Dirt?

A: Not well at first., but remember, he’s an actor. To win them over, he pretends he’s a badass and the citizens wind up making him sheriff.

Q: That sounds like a happy ending.

A: Well, not really. Once the mayor [Ned Beatty] bestows the title of Sheriff on Rango, Rango discovers that the town’s already short supply of water is missing and a grand conspiracy might be afoot.

Q: Is Ned Beatty reprising his role as Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear from Toy Story 3?

A: No, in Rango, Beatty voices a turtle. But there are definitely character traits that are reminiscent of Toy Story 3.

Q: If you’re going to be blurbed in this weekend’s ads for Rango, what quote do you think will be used?

A: “Rango is reminiscent of Toy Story 3!”—Mike Ryan, Vanity Fair

Q: Even though that quote is taken out of context, which, annoyingly, does actually happen, in the case of Rango, would you mind?

A: No, not this time. While they’re at it, I’ll throw in “Four Stars” and “If I could have sex with only one movie that came out in 2011, it would be Rango.”

Q: How would that even be possible?

A: I’m referring to the HD version.

Q: If you could sum up Rango in one word, what would it be?

A: Gritty.

Q: Is Rango one of those movies that’s “for the kids, but there’s something in it for the parents, too”?

A: Absolutely not. The complete opposite, actually. This may be the first animated movie in years that was made specifically for adults and, yes, there may be something in it for the kids, too. Maybe.

Q: If I have kids, can I take them to see Rango?

A: Yes, but keep in mind, Rango is rated PG and there’s going to be a lot of stuff that goes way over the head of the average five-year-old. Also, be prepared to hear the word “hell” and “damn” a lot.

Q: Considering the material, what is the target age for Rango?

A: Between 25 and 40.

Q: At what point did you realize Rango’s intended audience was not children?

A: It may have been the joke about prostate exams. Or, it may have been the campfire discussion about items found in each character’s stool, leading one of our heros to admit, “I once found a full human spine in my feces.”

Q: How many Hunter S. Thompson references are there in Rango?

A: One.

Q: This weekend, should I see Rango or The Adjustment Bureau?

A: Rango. In fact, this piece was originally supposed to be about The Adjustment Bureau, until I saw both films. The Adjustment Bureau is just another serviceable thriller. Rango was something else entirely.

Q: How was Rango “something else entirely”?

A: Put it this way, I’ve never seen an animated character hallucinate that he’s talking to Clint Eastwood—who is in full Josey Wales costume, by the way—driving around in a golf cart full of Oscars.

Q: Speaking of, will Rango win Best Animated Feature?

A: Too early to tell, but considering that Pixar’s entry this year is Cars 2, yes, it will.

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